you. must. chill.

It’s incredible how relaxing sends waves of experiences through my body and images to my mind. I almost can’t focus on the mundane tasks at hand because I’m overwhelmed with musty old feelings being released and tiny revelations with every muscle I consciously unclench. Incredible, too, how the process never ends – I could spend all day focusing on relaxing each muscle that clenches with each perceived threat, each emotion I deem unacceptable, every habitual reaction to stimuli I’ve practiced for years (hehe... stimuli). It’s quite ironically exhausting to remember to relax.

In the spirit of why the hell not... i haven't posted in forever.

Whoa.
Have been thinking a lot about my voice – releasing the physical and mental restraints that keep me from speaking freely or speaking at all. Have been reading "The Right to Speak” by Patsy Rodenburg. Was focusing on breathing into my belly and relaxing this morning so speaking voice wasn't as affected by physical habits unrelated to the present moment, and a funny thing happened. Teri noticed I was tired, even though I was in a different room. That’s something people only notice when they see my posture or eyes – I often (always?) disguise it with my voice, whether intentionally or unconsciously. She actually heard how I really was in the moment, without me having to say it. A SMALL VOCALTRY!! (hehehe... too much?)