Everything under the stars is in your arms.

I wanted to be pregnant. Not to go through the hell of deciding and explaining and apologizing, but to be deeply in the world of others, to affect my parents and my boyfriend and and our families and friends with an awareness of connection, 'good' or 'bad', as deeply embedded in them as that small person would have been in me.
i'm not...
but maybe that's what artists feel when they write, or paint, or speak or sing or draw.
to be embedded in someone else,
to birth something that affects others almost as deeply as it does you.