"- don't be so quick to knock it. People don't usually part with the weird shit they personally know because they know how easy it will be to punch holes in. Now I'm tellin you somethin. It's for you to poke through the soup and find the meat." John Patrick Shanley's 'the dreamer examines his pillow'

Friday, June 23, 2006

5:44 pm a discovery today

I am sleepy.
What does that mean?
I means I am sleepy.
Nothing has to be attached to that. There doesn't need to be any "therefore I should take a nap," or "therefore I will respond this way to people."
I have trained myself to think that if I feel something that I classify as 'tired' (which is really inadequate because there are so many different types of tired) that it should either be ignored or remedied, specifically by sleeping.
But my body doesn't call out "sleep!" nor does it call out "ignore this feeling!"
It simply says, I feel 'tired' right now.
This frees me to realize that I don't need to do anything about this tiredness; there is no action my body is crying out for - which means it doesn't need to be ignored. I can be busy as a bee and feel tired and not feel the need to push it away or deny it (thereby teaching my brain that my body is 'wrong,' which conditions me to never want to listen to what my body is telling me, which is usually healthier than the habits and control (or rebellion) that we impose on our bodies), and i can choose to not deny it because it doesn't mean that I need to stop what I'm doing to fix a problem that was never a problem, it was only ever a state of being.
And if I don't want to be in that state of being for whatever reason, I can still choose to take a nap, do yoga, drink coffee.

of course this applies to ... everything?
I feel affection, attraction, a deep connection to 'him'.that doesn't mean I 'need' to do anything. spend time with him. marry him. sleep with him. These are all actions I can choose to take, but they should happen out of choice, not because I feel I need to as a 'natural' next step (or even as an indistinguishable part of) certain feelings.

just because we feel something doesn't mean we need to do anything, which knowledge frees us to feel what we feel honestly and make decisions based in reality instead of fear...

2 Comments:

Blogger (/\_SomniuM_/\) said...

I like this entry. I guess it doesn't apply to everything, though. i.e: you're hungry, you eat. Not because you choose to, but because you have to to continue living.
Usually our body makes the best suggestion if emotions arent involved. That is to mean, if you feel tired, you should do something that counteracts the tiredness. But if you feel atraction to someone, the best decisions you can take are not given by the body, so you shouldnt make any decisions at all (where we agree) 'cause you "should" be doing that, but because you'd rather do that (i'm supposing you make a cold analysis before deciding what you'd rather).

3:37 PM

 
Blogger Elysia said...

Oh but it does apply to everything. Why need someone eat to survive. Why need to force your life more than 54 more days? Why not just be hungry?
There is a great peace in separating your state of being from the actions upon it. And from the 'needs' and 'shoulds' because they are completely arbitrary in the greater scheme.
I love your thoughts Lizzy

9:04 PM

 

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