"- don't be so quick to knock it. People don't usually part with the weird shit they personally know because they know how easy it will be to punch holes in. Now I'm tellin you somethin. It's for you to poke through the soup and find the meat." John Patrick Shanley's 'the dreamer examines his pillow'

Monday, June 05, 2006

12:10 am. Oversized pajamas and soft hair

Tonight I feel like a lost little girl. I want a hug. I want someone to accept me and not expect anything of me.
I don’t feel like thinking; just floating. I’m only typing because I’m lonely - and out of vanity. Ah ha, she says, maybe if I turn this sad, pathetic experience into something productive and learn from it, I will be above these juvenile feelings even as I experience them.
But the truth is, I… truth has nothing to do with it. I just feel very sad and small. This is good. There’s no right way to be, as artists we have to experience just about everything
And there, you see, she’s made it once again into an experience, something to be learned from or at least given silver lining. I need to let this be. Let it be. No more typing, no more attempting. No more trying.


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