"- don't be so quick to knock it. People don't usually part with the weird shit they personally know because they know how easy it will be to punch holes in. Now I'm tellin you somethin. It's for you to poke through the soup and find the meat." John Patrick Shanley's 'the dreamer examines his pillow'

Monday, April 03, 2006

Current obsession: music

Current music: Debussy, The Romantic Guitar. perfect.

Current mood: content - possibly due to the slug of NyQuil I just downed, hopefully due to the mystic ignorance the world allows on occasion...

Current clothing: a big Coca-Cola t-shirt that evokes strong memories.

I find it hard to write anything anymore. My emotions are so in the moment that I can't possibly express them in words or find it important to do so. My life philosophy is subtly changing every day. My moments are significant only in that they make up my life and make it worth living, not to affect anyone besides whom those I share them with. My angsts are momentary and sometimes trivial.
I want to share my life with you,
I want to pour it out onto the screen for you to dissect and to steal any tidbit that strikes a single small chord in your heart. But I can not. You have to tear your way through your own path, bleeding and swelling with the joys and bizarre and painful contradictions on your own. Possibly I'll be able to look you in the eyes someday soon, and through that we can share some... wisdom, or just laughter, another moment to document as imperfect and real in our book of learning in the present and dying to the past and reaching for the future.
Jennifer, I am saying it now. I love life. Listen to me: this dissatisfactory, wrong life is worth it, for the outside moments. Outside in the fresh air, outside yourself, out-of-body, outside of judgement, schedules, outside expectations, IN love; outside our understanding.

6 Comments:

Blogger Crystal said...

I would just like to let you know that I am going to be at Otterbein on Tuesday April 11th. I am auditioning for the music program. You are more than welcome to come watch...just let me know if you are doing so so that I won't be suddenly surprised. Ok...so I will most likely be there on Monday as well because auditions are at like 9:00 AM on Tuesday. Also, I had better see you while I'm at Otterbein or else I will be very sad. Lots of love!

12:14 AM

 
Blogger Michelle said...

I love Debussy. And you. :)

4:31 AM

 
Blogger Neilio Wongizzle said...

ummmmmmmmmmmmm


love x infinity.


andddddddddddddddddd

ummmmmmmmmmmmm


THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING.

7:25 AM

 
Blogger Crystal said...

I get to Ohio Monday afternoon-ish...I leave early in the morning to fly there. I leave Wednesday early in the morning as well. I don't know the times yet. I just know it is early. If you have room for me, I would LOVE to stay with you. If not, I have relatives who live in Columbus who could take me. But I think being on campus would be easier and quite frankly I'd rather spend time with you. I am sooo excited!!!!!

10:13 PM

 
Blogger Elizabeth said...

yes!! stay with me!! let me know times when you get them! I don't think I can pick you up though... do you have a way to get to campus or should i find a friend to get you? (i know that's kind of wierd, but eh, you do what you have to :) )
<3

2:02 AM

 
Blogger kirsten said...

amen, sister! I totally agree, and might I add that Debussy is sooooooooo wonderful... Clair de Lune? or Arabesque? if you haven't yet, listen to either of those pieces, gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous!

8:36 AM

 

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