WORDVOMIT:

Neil: anger. why? racism. FUCK. you are amazing.
Jennifer: love. Why? I can't see her, so no complexities crowd my mind and she is free to be simply love. I wonder if absence really does make the heart grow fonder, or if it pulls back the veil of self-protection and deception we subtly (subconsciously?) put up when we're physically with someone?
Nathan: Insanity. obviously no explanation needed; he understands. a long talk and a good wrestling match would be greatly beneficial.
Kirsten: guilt. why? you wrote to me and i cared so much i couldn't find the words to put down to say the right thing, so i left you without any words. Once again, the desire to perform well, to do the right thing ATE the possibility of real human contact and gaining something from my mistakes. story of my life.
myself: grey. blurred lines. not enough courage to hope for clarity... maybe it's better this way? foot is asleep.
elysia: desire. why? She does. I love it. Inspired by her desire to "suck the marrow out of life," as it were. Desire to express how much i love that as well as her insecurities and quirkiness. Reaching out a hand to you...
mother: anticipation. why? can i make a long term relationship work? ours is constantly growing and changing or doing the opposite of growing, whatever that is. dying? ew. my symbol of a commited, stuck-together relationship with all the highs and lows our pettiness and larger souls have to offer. and a lot of fuzzy in between times. Can't wait to see her and find out how we'll fare this time. (spring breack in March)
The Gotter: hope? love, sexy, too sexy, stress, LOVE, enjoyment, excitement, what's inside? blue, ripped apart, life-dream, understand, lost with you. why? who the hell knows why we go through what we do? Good thing we do it anyway.
Lenny: where are you... why? i really want you out of the woods and into the picture with me. where are you? are you living? happyish? i can't stop caring about you. stop hoping i will.

WORDVOMIT:

GRATEFULNESS

yes!! there is great good in my world!!! beauty is everywhere - (microscope occasionally required, but entirely worth it)