a few things that matter a bit

neil is coming to ohio. are you jealous? of course you get to see him all the time :) but i am freaking out. very happy about this.
have you ever been at a point when you felt like you were on the edge of nothing? there's a whole lot of life ahead, but it doesn't mean anything. as always, we just keep walking. i'm waiting for the day someone tells me 'this is what you are supposed to be doing.' thinking that day will come makes all the days in between a little easier. heck, maybe it will come. no i take it back, it's not that it doesn't mean anything. it's just that so little of it means something.
i sat down next a friend of mine at lunch a few days ago. we talked for maybe two minutes, then i had to work on a script so he started talking to one of our other friends. then he turned back for a second and simply said "i love you."
those are the moments that matter. you touched someone else's life and they reach into yours. and moments with God, of which there are far too few for me. but they're there. i could write about this forever...
two nights ago: the first rehearsal for Swamp Baby (featuring the hallucinating green-skinned nymphomaniac, as Lenny darling so sensitively put it :) Lenny when are you coming out here?) i am blown away. It was like this huge event in my life, and this play feels like it’s growing into a canopy over my head (there’s no symbolism behind that, it just sounds like how I feel) –I’m learning a ton and experiencing so much already through this. and there’ve only been two read-throughs! I wish I could tell you all my little thoughts during rehearsal. Amazing. After we read through the play both nights, we had a long discussion about what we had discovered about our characters, what confused us about the play, what we wanted to work on, etc. It’s like this group of people collaborating on the show actually cares about the play. They want to get everything they can out of it, and there’s an ever-present awareness that it’s all a process. We can’t understand everything right now, so we slowly work our way through technicalities, character motivations, everything as it comes to us. I remember when I used to pick up a script and think, “ok, I have to get this perfect the first rehearsal or everyone will think I suck.” I’m really learning to be patient with myself. This is good.

It would really bless me if I knew you guys were out there.