"- don't be so quick to knock it. People don't usually part with the weird shit they personally know because they know how easy it will be to punch holes in. Now I'm tellin you somethin. It's for you to poke through the soup and find the meat." John Patrick Shanley's 'the dreamer examines his pillow'

Friday, February 18, 2005

Anything for you, Lenny

I'm conflicted. Overwraught? Whelmed? Well, I just plum can't figure out what to write, because there are a million things I could say, or imply, or explain... God help me :)
First things first.
I am being EATEN by the Drama Beast. It consumes my life. I don't know if it's good for me, but I am loving it. Auditions tomorrow. I had four last Saturday. I GOT INTO THE CHORUS FOR JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR!!! Hallelujah bare feet and Hey-zanna Hosanna!! I can't wait. AND I'm going to New York and Connecticut over Spring Break, just to kick around, get a feel for where I'm supposed to go after college. Crazy, huh? And I'm freaking going to see Jenn in New York!!!!!!!! I'm bursting at the seams.
Also, I'm working my butt off. Acting is hard. But enough about that, I could go on forever.

You know, I'm really OK. College is really... ok. I mean it's FANASTIC, but there's always been an undercurrent of "yes but I'd rather be back at a real home with old friends" but second-quarter hits, and everything's really ok. It really is. I don't want to be anywhere other than here, doing what I am with those around me. I LOVE IT!! I am so excited to hear about the seniors from this year heading off to college. It makes you feel smaller than you've ever felt before. In a good way.

I've had a lot of... deep... thoughts lately, but frankly, I'm emotionally stripped, and I know I'd break down if I started writing it all out, and I have to look my best for tomorrow. I want this part more than anything. I've already soggily sobbed for a full hour today, five hours ago, and my eyes still look like I was stung by a bee, if I was allergic to bees. Best analogy ever. HAHAHA. It's funny if you think about it. It's like I'm an old lady. Because they... cry, a lot.
If you get a chance, send up a prayer for me? I've got a feels-like-my-head-is-in-a-mild-thunderstorm sickness. It's gross. yecgh.
Here's to two things I miss dearly: safe conversations and emotional static. And to every one of you, whom I miss even more.

1 Comments:

Blogger Lenny said...

Thanks, Liz.

11:11 AM

 

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