"- don't be so quick to knock it. People don't usually part with the weird shit they personally know because they know how easy it will be to punch holes in. Now I'm tellin you somethin. It's for you to poke through the soup and find the meat." John Patrick Shanley's 'the dreamer examines his pillow'

Thursday, September 22, 2005

To my dear friend, Dustie Winegar (and all the rest of you hooligans;) because I love her.

Here I sit, on my incredibly sore (due to tap, acting, and weight machines - and yet, it still retains its booty-liciousness) bum in the silence of the COMPUTER LAB. I read from an acting book, and I quote,
"Gedon is a short way of saying the magic question. When we are rehearsing and the actors do not appear to be in the space between, we can say, 'What's the GEDON?' That the whole sentence is a question creates a demand. Answers must be found. Finding them, however, will require an open mind and an escape from the tyranny of the self."
And so, dear reader, I humbly inquire: what is the GEDON?
Ah, the delights of acting classes. It is Thursday, and time for a new exercise. We must learn to think as an ensemble. We all stand in our "own spaces, somewhere you feel comfortable and safe," and slowly make our way into a circle. As we move, we emit a guttural sound, a continual "uhhhhhhhhhhhhh", very softly.... we near the center, closing in the circle... we are sensing one another's movement and the vibration of the sounds in the air... Gradually, as we take step after step in unison, the sound increases, until we are locked in a sort of circle of expression, shoulder to shoulder, crying out our unhindered thanks as one body and one voice to whatever being can hear us. This lasts for about a minute, then carefully, patiently, we let silence drown out our noises. We stand in communion, feeling the warmth of the body beside us, knowing that once we move the bond is bound to break - in time. But for now, we breathe, and we listen. There it is: the profound and silent love.
Then we arrive home, and so begins the gossip, the frustration, the righteous anger, etc., etc., but it's good to know we have that love in us.
This is an interesting time in life. I'm full of doubts about my beliefs, which is a good thing. How can you know something's true if you never question it? Philosophy is bringing up all sorts of new perspectives. Living in my new house is both FANTASTICLY WONDERFUL and sometimes hormonal, but we can get over that. ugh, I could write a million more words, but I have to keep reading about GEDON and the space between!!!(echo: Between.. between.. between...)
I have a sort of a date thing tomorrow at 4ish - 1 your time, you poopies. Wish me luck!

To life!